Thursday, May 22, 2008

Heavy Heart

For a variety of reasons I have had such a heavy heart today. I am sure by now you all have heard of the tragic death of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter. I read about it early this morning and it has hung with me all day. I am lifting up that family and especially their son, in prayer today.

I think my heavy heart started last night when both girls were crying and missing daddy. We had a very busy day and I wonder if that had to do with the evening tears. I want to comfort them and care for their feelings but at the same time, my mind keeps drifting to other families that are also going through difficult times. Even the perspective of other's pain, doesn't take away our current hurt.

We have been calling out to God, seeking His mercies on our family. I know the truth that God hears our prayers and the He cares for our every need. But...right head knows the truth but my heart feels the pain. The unknown time period that we will be in this holding pattern is so hard. It has official been a month that our home is on the market and no offers yet. In fact only 2 lookers (plus an open house). Chuck has been gone about 2 weeks. We expect a good weekend with him home and we went ahead and got another ticket for him to come home again in another 2 weeks. All this adds up to trying to really hard to hang onto hope. Hoping for the best. Staying positive. Choosing happiness. Focusing on all the good in our life and not the bad. (OK, that was the little pep talk that I needed to give myself).

I hate this heavy feeling on my heart. Even to the point of chest pains and hard time breathing. The weather here has changed to full on humidity and I know that always takes a little getting used to. Today, I take it as a reminder to lift up these families that are dealing with DEEP hurt.


Sean and Lisa said...

Oh Cris, you have such a tender, sweet spirit. I understand the heavy heart when your husband is away. It's like part of you is missing! Sean was out of town for 11 months with a job and I didn't know if I would have any sanity left when he came home.LOL! It was so difficult but it also built our characters and the depth of our love and commitment to each other and I made him promise no more out of town jobs!! It also gave me such compassion for single moms and military moms that do this life every day. Wow!!

I am praying for you and your girls thru this transition time and praying that God brings a buyer very SOON so you can all be together again as you should be.

Shaleen said...

Cris, I did not know about the SCC tragedy. I just googled and read more. So so sad. His song "Maria" is about 15 yrs old, but still one of my favorites. They must have named her after the song. We just saw him last fall. His sons were touring with him, playing drums and guitar.
As for you, my friend, you are following God's plan for your lives. But I'm sure that the waiting is difficult. Know that we are praying for you, Chuck, Tally & Tristan and the sale of your house.

Salzwedel Family said...

I know firsthand trusting in God's timing is sometimes hard to bear. Keep the faith, He thankfully has things under control.

Shane, Greta, Seth and Gage Owens said...

I have had a heavy heart today for the SCC family and other things as well.
I am so sorry that you have all of this on you right now. And yes, it is a difficult time for your family. Please know I think of you and pray for you often throughout the day.
You are an incredible mother, wife, and child of God. You are an inspiration to me in many ways!
I love you.

Anonymous said...

My heart is heavy today too.

I am sorry you have to go through this. I am praying God moves quickly!

Christy said...

Remember it's only for a season. What's the old saying; absence makes the heart grow fonder. I know this is tough, I'm there too, but you can do it! Before you know it, you'll be in ****** unpacking boxes. Only this time I WON'T need them. :) This weekend let Chuck mow the grass and it will feel just like old times!

Stacia said...


I'm praying that God will do something amazing in your weekend with Chuck home...that he will lift the heaviness from all of your hearts and provide a buyer for your home. I have shared your heavy heart regarding SCC's daughter today. This tragedy reminded me that life is so fragile and uncertain- it reminded me to cherish each moment with my husband and children and try to let go of the small stuff: coming home late from work, toys all over the family room, baby grabbing my leg while I try to cook... the list goes on of things that I was time being "bugged" by each day. I pray that I can keep this fresh perspective, especially when I'm squeezed.

Rachel said...

Our previous pastor and I were "talking" through email earlier today and I was sharing with him my feelings of sadness...almost an urgency of sadness if that makes sense and he made the statement "It is these days that we rightfully so feel homesick...but it is these days that the earth needs us most."


Susan said...

I read about SCC family last night before bed and my heart was heavy right along with you. So, hard to process as parents, as well as help your kids process it I am sure. I'm sorry your house hasn't sold yet and it is hard to be away from Chuck and have to hold the fort and be strong on your own. I love you and am praying for you...hang in there. Hope you are feeling supported and loved!!

Annie said...

Oh, you dear.... My heart is going out to you. Here is a blessing to count: You and your husband love each other; your daughters love their daddy. What a blessing that is! Maybe you are getting the chance to thank God for one another and really appreciate one another. I will be praying for you.

Julie said...

Cris, I can relate to the part about your head knowing and your heart feeling sad. Often times all of the positives people try to tell you ("it's just for a season", "God is with you", etc) you already know in your head, but your heart is still preoccupied with the pain. Praying for you and your family!