If you are my FB friend you would see that my status says..."Cris wonders if she can endure?" And if you are not on Face Book, what are you waiting for??? Get on there and click on me to be your friend.
OK, wait, that wasn't my point here, my point was can I endure? I have come to understand that our values really drive us. I have put a lot of thought into values before, but I am coming to understand my own values even more. Though the last year was hard being away from Chuck and living the life of single parent, caring for the kids on my own, keeping up on the acreage and the garden and pool, showing the house at the drop of a hat, keeping it clean, packing our place up in less than 2 weeks, wondering if we were going to sell or not, struggling with the financial hole we were in each month...the list goes on. Believe me, it wasn't the easiest of times. But we were able to endure.
To be honest, I feel so stretched so thin and I held it together for all those long months and now...can I endure? Not sure I can. I understand that routine and familiar surroundings are two of my highest values. And right now, I have neither one of those. We are in a holding pattern with the house that we have the offer on and no idea when we will hear from the bank (it is a short sale). We are camping out in temporary housing (and don't get me wrong, we are VERY grateful for a place to crash). But since we moved so quickly, I didn't not pack with the thought of temporary. We just threw it all in boxes just to get out of there on time. And now everything is packed tightly in the garage stored in boxes and we can't really get to anything (imagine one box moved and the whole thing comes crashing down).
So as positive as I so often try to be, I also want to be honest. I am struggling. I am not sure I can endure. I need to create some kind of routine and I need to "make friends" with my current surroundings so I can find some comfort. The girls have been sick for about 10 days and we are feeling couped up to say the least. We have no new news on the house and I am just keeping it real here. Sorry to be such a downer. Believe me, I know the truth. I know it will all be over soon and we will be done with this whole thing. But for today...I can only endure in God's strength and not my own.