Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Wondering if I can ENDURE???

If you are my FB friend you would see that my status says..."Cris wonders if she can endure?" And if you are not on Face Book, what are you waiting for??? Get on there and click on me to be your friend.

OK, wait, that wasn't my point here, my point was can I endure? I have come to understand that our values really drive us. I have put a lot of thought into values before, but I am coming to understand my own values even more. Though the last year was hard being away from Chuck and living the life of single parent, caring for the kids on my own, keeping up on the acreage and the garden and pool, showing the house at the drop of a hat, keeping it clean, packing our place up in less than 2 weeks, wondering if we were going to sell or not, struggling with the financial hole we were in each month...the list goes on. Believe me, it wasn't the easiest of times. But we were able to endure.

To be honest, I feel so stretched so thin and I held it together for all those long months and now...can I endure? Not sure I can. I understand that routine and familiar surroundings are two of my highest values. And right now, I have neither one of those. We are in a holding pattern with the house that we have the offer on and no idea when we will hear from the bank (it is a short sale). We are camping out in temporary housing (and don't get me wrong, we are VERY grateful for a place to crash). But since we moved so quickly, I didn't not pack with the thought of temporary. We just threw it all in boxes just to get out of there on time. And now everything is packed tightly in the garage stored in boxes and we can't really get to anything (imagine one box moved and the whole thing comes crashing down).

So as positive as I so often try to be, I also want to be honest. I am struggling. I am not sure I can endure. I need to create some kind of routine and I need to "make friends" with my current surroundings so I can find some comfort. The girls have been sick for about 10 days and we are feeling couped up to say the least. We have no new news on the house and I am just keeping it real here. Sorry to be such a downer. Believe me, I know the truth. I know it will all be over soon and we will be done with this whole thing. But for today...I can only endure in God's strength and not my own.

20 comments:

Tonya said...

You can do it!!! We will cheer you on!! having moved twice last year in a very short amount of time my advice is live where you are. I had to make a routine for today, and I was okay with the fact that it might be a routine I was married to for long but it gave me sanity for the moment. Hold tight to our Jesus, He is holding tight to you! "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future!" Jer 29:11 I also love verse 12; "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you." He is there listening!! HUGS for you and I pray that you will feel strengthened!!

Cheryl said...

God's strength alone is where you want to endure right now...you're right, it isn't easy. Don't look too far ahead, that's where you start seeing too many problems, just put one foot in front of the other and deal with the moments as they come, in God's strength.

I just picked up the pace a bit on my facebook after it sitting stagnant for months... I'll look for you, my last name is Whitney.

ScienceGeek said...

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I have to admit I'm surprised. You dealt with so much in the past year with such grace and fortitude that I was expected you to be home free now that you're all together again with the house sold. But I can empathize with your feelings of being unsettled and out of your routine. I am sure it's really frustrating not to know about the new house, and to not feel settled in your new surroundings. I will pray for you, and trust that you will endure, just as you've endured your various trials this past year. ((Hugs))

Terry Campbell/Shape Director said...

Hey there..I know this season is difficult. But look at it from this perspective...in a few days or weeks, you will be so very busy getting settled. Take this time right now to do some of those things with your girls that you will have to set aside for unpacking the boxes, etc. Find a great book to read aloud and snuggle up on the sofa, go explore Green Hills and wander around the new Trader Joe's, go to the Library in Franklin and get a new Library card, take your girls to lunch on the square (Dumplins is great!), take the girls in Stitcher's Garden so that can see mounds and mounds of beautiful fabric. And above all remember that this time is a gift. Maybe you needed to rest some before you move in your house. It WILL be over soon!

Rachael said...

You are in the final stages of a marathon. The part where you are overtaken with despair, but yet the finish line lies just ahead around the corner. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. (And sorry you're struggling.)

Susan said...

I understand a little how you feel...I hate to feel unsettled and not "at home" in our own place. It isn't easy. Sorry life feels on hold right now. I am sure God has something to teach you through this. Just be glad how much time you've been able to study Isaiah and how almost caught us we are!! Remember the WAIT theme this week. Wait on God and He will show you compassion and be gracious to you.

Karen said...

Of Course you can!! I have been reading your blog long enough to know that you are a positive person and try to find the best in situations. Focus on the fact that you are all together!! I know that it is hard to be in transition... but as soon as you get in your house you will start nesting and decorating and making your house a home!!

I remember when we moved to a new city (from Melbourne, FL) and it was January and rainy and COLD... we also had to stay in a hotel for 1 month until we found a place to live... it was so bad... but it did pass when we moved into our home and got settled! I will pray that you will find some connections and start making friends and that the house situation will hurry!

P.S. I just joined FB and it is really a neat way to connect with people from the past.. I will look for you.

K-Sue said...

Wish we could be there to hang with y'all a bit - even risking being around sick young'uns. Waiting would be so enjoyable if you knew how long it would take...

Now I have 2 friends saying, "Why aren't you on Facebook?" I may have to take the plunge.

K-Sue said...

...and Earthgirl and I will pray the girls get better so you can all enjoy your new locale. Can you say, "cold weather letterboxing?"

Permission to Mother said...

I miss you. Even though I haven't met you, you feel far. I missed my chance to meet you cause my own hectic life.

Wife to the Rockstar said...

Thanks for being real. Life isn't easy is it?

I read this and I COMPLETELY get it. Why? Because I think you and I are a lot alike. I need comfort, routine...

We also have moved a lot like you guys. And it gets old. Really old.

Praying for you. Praying you get good news on the house and praying you are able to make this new place "home".

Wife to the Rockstar said...

Oh and sick kids... that is enough to make you crazy. Praying they get better SOON.

fitncrafty said...

Hang in there Cris.. last year at this time, and even some now. I am feeling what you are feeling.
Temporary housing is tough...
I say all the time if I didn't have this house, I would REALLY fall apart....
You are not alone.. Sure hope that the girls get to feeling better soon and that you hear about the house.
You have made it this far, you will make it all the way.
Makes me think of that poem 'Footprints in the Sand'

DebiH. said...

Any one of us would feel the same way! It's been a tough time and you have been amazing to hold it all together with such grace. Give yourself some time to crash a little.

Julie said...

I agree with Debi (and everyone), you have had to hold it all together for so long, it is completely understandable for you to be stressing with all of the changes, lack of ability to get to your stuff, and the girls being sick---that's too much for anyone!! You're in the home stretch though and you'll be fine.

Salzwedel Family said...

I can honestly tell you that I've never felt worse or more mentally & physically exhausted than when we moved. It is hard. Everything is off kilter so I can certainly understand why you are feeling you can't take any more. Praying you will be revitalized and find your niche in your new place soon. Hang in there!

Lee and Bev said...

What wonderful words of encouragement. Sorry this is a rough time of waiting and sick girls! We are reading though the Bible this year. (Lee's already through Leviticus!) Yesterday I read Exodus 14:13-14. "...Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today...The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." God is still on the throne! Hang in there!

cindy said...

Though I only know you from blogging, I have always thought of you as an incredibly strong person with an amazing amount of faith that God will persevere and see you you through. Please don't give up on that now. Hang in there and know there are mnay who believe.in you.

Christine said...

Big Hugs! you will get through this. Did you move again???

mommy g said...

Cris,
At the end of ourselves, there is God.
I love you. I love your honesty. You are a treasure.